Wednesday, October 18, 2006
results are back..
H1 GP: 45.5%
H1 Chi: 59.4%
H1 Econs: 56.7%
H2 Maths: 73%
H2 Phy: 49.5%
H2 Chem: 44%

well, my results really sucks! wat to do.. i've alr studied for it.. n my 2 sci still very lousy.. :'( told Mummy my results after some thoughts. sms her.. she say i sound ok.. so should be fine.. i told her i fake de.. results was bad.. i send her my results n said i was very sad.. then she din reply liao.. i msg her asking how she find n think.. she jus type 'i think ..................' so how am i suppose to interpret tis? i jus bluff her say ok.. i think i can interpret tat. then i went on saying tat i din do as well as her niece(in RJC also her REAL god-daughter) n Su Ling.. she took very long to reply tat she'll leave the interpretation to me. but to clarify, if she were to compare, the person tat she will compare is me myself. how am i suppose to understand it? i kept thinking.. i really dunno.. after ballet, i told her i cant interpret tat.. ask her to tell me how she feel. told her tat my dad n ballet teac was happy with it.. then she din reply. instead, after i bathe, while doing OP, Tricia msg me.. i thot was mummy. so happy. end up was her.. haiz.. jus to entertain her so i jus sms lor.. anyway, after tat, mummy replied. she said this.. 'since ur father n ur ballet teac is happy with ur results, then u should be happy too. but most importantly is u must be happy with ur own results.' haiz.. i really wanna know if she's upset or wat. it's like, i've done my best. i improved.. n yet, no encouragement from her. jus becos i dun do well? i put in so much effort jus to gain her smile n not seeing her getting upset. n yet, she treats me like tis now.. i really feel saddening.. can u pls dun treat me like tat anymore? esp when i dun have tat much time with u le.. u're resigning. i wun be able to see u as much as before. i'm alr bleeding n crying inside me n my heart. why cant u jus think for me? izzit tat bad to jus treat me nice for tat few mins tat i see u every week or sms u? =( i really work hard to keep my promise. but if tis were to continue, i think u will be seeing me slimming down a lot after A lvl PW. i'm practically forcing myself to eat cos i wanna be 'healthy' so tat i can do well for my A lvl subjects tat i'm taking tis yr. however, i cant promise to do so after exams are really over. jus hope tat u can at least have some days or jus a day or two to go out together during hols. will i ever have tat kind of priviledge? i hope so but i doubt so.. :'(

Mummy, I Really Miss YOU!!


`SiHui* _[temPteD_* 10:47 PM

Sunday, October 15, 2006

omg.. wat the hell am i doing today? dance a bit only then start panting.. totally no mood to dance during grade 7 class. jus feel very dull n sucky.. izzit really becos of meiling or izzit tat my ballet standard really dropping again? i really dunno.. or maybe i've put in a lot of energy to do the dance? gosh.. i guess tat's jus an excuse.. i think i should really reflect on myself. cant do split. talk n talk to mama non-stop. am i there to dance or talk? cant i jus stop talking n concentrate on my dance? i feel very guilty now.. not really helping mama at all. but jus adding unnecessary movements to 'irritate' her or even make her lose hope on me? i really not sure wat i'm doing. i keep telling myself tat it's due to the haze tat i'm getting from bad to worse.. i've always look forward to dancing. but why am i not doing well? yes, i cannot hide the fact tat meiling is doing so much better than me n i cant stop myself from comparing with her.. she's smart, flexible, good in dancing too. am i jus jealous abt her being good in everything or am i jealous tat mama seems to like her a lot n not me? i dunno.. i jus find myself a burden to everyone.. is tat true? can someone jus answer me? gosh.. wat the hell has gotten into me?! can i stop being so petty always? stop grumbling abt wat others have n can have while i dun n i cant?? really hope to find the right person to talk to.. maybe my dream bf? i'm not even clear abt it.. am i despo for a guy? or am i jus hoping tat there's someone always being there n caring for me? guess i'm really tired enough caring for pple ard me tat i din even really realise tat i dun get the care n concern tat i really want.. am i really tat bad to the extent tat no one is after me? do i really need a guy to console me? i really dunno.. someone who knows, pls tell me..

`SiHui* _[temPteD_* 10:34 PM

Thursday, October 12, 2006

today almost went BROKE.. thanks to my twin sis, si hui.. haha.. bought a lot of things.. walk until leg very tired.. n i feel so cold.. dunno why.. met her at kovan at abt 10. then we talk until 10.40 while waiting for Yellow to open. talk a lot of crap.. told her abt the chalet.. so funny.. then she told me her hol schedule.. so packed n so many hols.. so good sia.. haha.. after we bought, we went to city hall. went to raffles city shopping centre. go all the way to precious moment shop again.. purposely go there look for figurine "Missing You" nia. cant find sia.. haiz.. sad.. =( then went to walk at the city link.. another precious moment shop.. still cant find tat figurine "Missing You".. we walk n walk then saw tis silver shop. bought a star necklance for yi zhen. then we decided to go eat sakae student buffet at 3.. so we went over to suntec.. lolz.. went to precious moment shop again to look for tat figurine "Missing You".. still dun have!! haiz.. so went into wallet shop.. look at pencil case n wallet. she say dun like the pencil case le.. prefer the wallet she saw at rip curl.. haha.. saw a pencil case which suits odelia. nike blue de.. so buy for her.. then went over to carrefour to buy FBT shorts.. haha.. finally manage to buy 2 pairs.. yeah! it's really short sia. but i hope i can get use to it. then maybe can slim down cos wanna wear it.. haha.. anyway, walk ard.. then we both damn hungry.. haha.. 1+ nia.. then walk to marina square.. shop rip curl, roxy.. saw tis marine colour roxy bag.. so nice!! but so ex!! if i remember correctly, it's $106!! gosh.. my dad will kill me lor.. haha.. so i din buy. then we see her wallet there too.. told her if she really want, we can come back here buy later. then walk ard mini toons. saw mickey n minnie.. wanted to buy for feli.. haha.. but din.. then walk to wallet shop n buy things. bought feli's pencil case.. purple colour. actually it's very nice! i like it. but i feel so bad.. cos i dote her the best n yet her present is the cheapest! well, it's true tat it's the thought tat counts n not how much. but i still feel bad. haha.. anyway, it's ok lar.. nice pencil case. i like it too! hehe.. then went to precious moment shop again to look for tat figurine "Missing You".. but still cant find. then continue to walk ard. cos 2 nia.. but damn hungry le.. so went to eat liao.. si hui order until like siao.. as if she din go there eat before.. we took 8 plates nia.. luckily din go for student buffet.. haha.. anyway, it was 56+.. for 2 person! lolz.. nvm lar.. once in a while i still can afford a bit.. after all, she's my twin sis. =) then went to get her wallet. $32 lor.. haha.. then walk walk somemore then went off.

kinda sad.. still cant find tat figurine "Missing You".. since Mummy have it, i really hope she cherish it. really.. must treasure it. maybe me n tat figurine no fate bah.. =( since Mummy n tat figurine has the fate, hope she sees it soon n protect it.. cos she still haven see tat figurine when i give her the bottle. she thot it's jus a normal bottle of big stars! haiz.. was meant to be a surprise. end up, now like not the correct mode leh.. sad hor? maybe should have tell her during her bday. then i dun have to give her.. haha.. overall, although it's tiring.. but i enjoyed! shall upload the pic we took at sakae n the toilet soon! =)

`SiHui* _[temPteD_* 10:42 PM

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

yeah! ballet whole day! BALLET ROX!! had ballet at whampoa cc, then 4+ went over to CCK CC with Mama.. i had fun.. i was kinda scare at first. but after tat, got used to it. n i enjoy looking at pple dance there. they look serious. esp the grade 3 girl who learn basketball also. she really have the look to dance ballet! very very pretty.. not only tat, she got the very class look too.. with tat posture.. omg.. she look so perfect! the best part is, u can see her enjoying dancing every single movement. i think tat's the only reason to make Mama continue teaching ballet bah.. WP CC students dun look nice when dancing. our standard has been dropping like mad sia.. unlike before where we had competition. we still have it now. but not as strong. seeing tat grade 3 girl dance, really make me have the determination to do well for grade 8! i think the only secret to getting distinction is to enjoy dancing every single steps. yes.. i'm gonna do it now! =) cant wait till hols where i can follow Mama ard for lessons!

`SiHui* _[temPteD_* 12:22 PM

Friday, October 06, 2006

yeah! promo finally end le.. econs paper was ok.. no time to write n i forget something.. it was easeier than i expected. cos i know nothing..

anyway, went to somerset for movie at cine. haha.. went pasta mania to eat.. lolz.. then watch Rob-B Hood.. such a nice movie.. so funny n touching! n the baby, matthew, he's damn cute! haha.. big eyes.. so cute lor..e

left at 3+.. reach J8 at abt 3.45pm. called mummy to see if she want anything. then she say oh ya.. forget tat u're coming, i ate liao. she scare me. i thot she left sch le.. haha.. then i go delifrance to buy her bread. each bread cost 2.35 wor.. tat's ex! but mummy eat de.. so i dun feel heartache at all.. reach sch n go into office as usual. she looked tired. see her marking papers.. so stressful sia.. her table so messy. told her abt the insane woman. she keep laughing. n the hp pouch hor.. so bad lar.. she say she dun really like the side zip de.. well, i'll go search again bah.. but she still use it anyway. then she saw the box. she thot i buy her present again. aiyo.. she actually din know tat there's a figurine inside the big bottle! omg.. she win le lor.. i keep saying she din take note.. sianz.. wonder if she'll open it to see tonight. after talkign a while, help to calculate scores. then she go do the MCQ marking.. then come back i asked her something she ignore me n ask me dun disturb her. so i finish liao then put at her table. then daydream down there. she suddenly turn ard n look at me with tat shock face. so fast finish liao ah? i'm like ya.. then she ask me go read her medical report. siao lor.. liver got dunno wat prob.. i dun understand.. i hope she go consult doc.. dun make me worry for her.. then she ask me record all the marks. then i thot my work is done. but actually not yet! there's more to go! i have to tear the mcq ans n staple them with the students otas.. wa.. terrible job. i sit there for hours not moving ard jus to tear n staple.. end work at 6.30.. then she say she also wanna go liao.. back aching.. i so much wanted to give her a massage.. but then.. it dun seem very appropriate to do tat in sch at tat moment. later pple thot i wat.. but feel rather bad at times too.. seeing her suffer, i can only advice her to rest well at home. n ask tricia to give her massage. anyway, she say everything is everywhere ever since her big billabong pencil case is lost. haha.. i said u hinting me to get u a new one izzit.. she take it so serious lor.. went to take her car. well, she say she's giving sexuality course.. haha.. i cant help but to start laughing.. then i say maybe i can get my xiao mei to record wat she said. haha.. she look at me n scold me.. lolz.. then before turning in to J8, all the car jus stuck there. she actually ask if she can dun drive in anot.. haiz.. next time i wun ask her to fetch me there liao lar.. feel so bad.. everytime she gotta get stuck for long. anyway, told her to get enough rest during weekends, n she ask me to enjoy my weekends.
Thanks Mummy! I Love You! Missing You even More after each time i see u..

`SiHui* _[temPteD_* 10:40 PM

Thursday, October 05, 2006

yeah! finally last paper tmr liao.. but then, after exams, gonna start worrying abt the results.. i screw up my chem on tue.. i suck at phy too. so today's paper also gone case.. tmr's econs, no need to say.. i dun understand a thing! argh.. i'm so dead.. i really should consider to take up phy n chem tuition liao.. if not, i'm dead for A lvl next yr.. =(

anyway, the insane woman is brought to the police station today liao.. finally lor.. but i really wonder wat will the police do to her.. will they release her after 24hrs? i hope not.. best is to bring her to IMH.. cos she recognise me for sure.. i look at her n she look at me.. she even shouted.. i was so frighten although 2 police were holding to her.. her expression is really scary.. really hope to hear from the IO tat she has been sent to IMH.. then i can have a good sleep n not have nightmares anymore.. i dunno how long more i can take these nightmares of her chasing after me.. i'm so tired running.. she was so fast!

i'll be meeting Mummy tmr to take the Princess Hours vcd.. hope she got some time to talk to me.. wanna tell her the whole incident. hope she can calm me down, so i wun be dreaming of tat insane woman again.. maybe it's becos when i see her worrying for me, i will tell myself to be stronger n not be afraid bah.. it isn't a bad thing after all.. really hope we can talk a while bah.. i know she'll be busy marking papers.. sec 1N sci papers.. haiz.. i should look forward to enjoy myself tmr n be glad tat i'll be seeing Mummy! I MISS U LOTS, MUMMY!!

`SiHui* _[temPteD_* 8:48 PM